Lockouts: Fad or Future

Lockouts are so in right now.

Will this be an isolated disaster or could it possible be a glimpse of the future?

First the NFL locked out and now the NBA. Who got next?

Once the NFL and NBA lock outs kicked off, some significant others were excited at the possibility of being able to have more time together this fall and winter. On the other hand some became angry that they might actually have to spend more time with theirs.

"Girl, thank God for sports. I know I'm free during game time and the playoffs are like a vacation. Now they might take that away. Oh hell nooo!"

Will other businesses or corporations start following this business trend?

This could create havoc in several facets of daily life. Chaos with a side of bedlam. Start stocking up now on your favorite products because it could be putting a hurting on you soon.

If Costco, Sam's Club, and BJs locked out, what would the Duggars do? Well, first they'd pray, but after that all 392 of them would smear on some camouflage face paint, grab pitchforks, and like any good Christian, storm the front doors. Imagine little Duggar pitchforks banging against the doors. Josiah looks like he could do some damage. The Duggars scare me and if these companies lockout they are going to have a full scale war on their hands.

If Sephora and Victoria's Secret locked out women and drag queens would feel less sexy, therefore might be angrier and definitely less happy. An unhappy woman doesn't bode well for anyone. Hundreds of thousands of consumers without their faces standing outside the stores. It would like a scene from Thriller except with Molotov cocktails and faces that look like Dali painted them.

Kim Kardashian would tweet a mutiny. KK would call for action. Her face alone is equivalent to 10 normal faces with make-up. In fact, this might ignite an entire Kardashian rebel force led by the devil herself, Kris Jenner. If you can't buy the Kardashian brand, it damages the K Empire. You better believe Devil Kris would be at the head of the negotiation table with a scythe sharpened with fury.

Wal-Mart and Target could be the next to fall. Empty parking lots would be a common sight. A Wal-Mart and Target lock out might just cripple the Midwest and South. It would look like a scene out of Cormac McCarthy's, "The Road." No more 15 gallon containers filled with animal crackers and pretzels. No more bathroom decorations and randomly framed pictures. Where are we going to get cheap movies on Blu-ray? Sunday Fun Day family trips to Wal-Mart would be a thing of the past. "They must have it at Target" will no longer be said. The only positive coming from this is that I can now wear a red shirt without being asked how my shift at Target was.

I know the idea of nationwide lockouts look grim. The idea kept me up for awhile . I hope we, the fan and consumer, will one day live a world sans lockouts. Everyone loses. Lives change. Tears fall. And people might slip on those tears and roll an ankle. I can't live like that. So NFL and NBA please clean up this mess and please just let this be an isolated occurrence. I wouldn't want to be responsible for unleashing the wrath of Devil Kris or live in a world without massive, plastic bears filled with happiness on my conscience.