8 one-time-wear dresses
+ 3 up-dos
+ 6 bachelorette parties
+ 12 broken wine glasses
+ 1 foreign country
+ 19 awkward discussions about my figure
+ 1 helpful observation that I “might have grown a size”
+ 9,874 angry tears
+ 284 happy tears
+ 10 hotel rooms
+ 1 trip to Vegas
+ 123 unsolicited opinions from elderly shower guests
+ 2 drunken blackouts
+ 1 friend lost
+ 9 enemies gained
+ 178 emails about penis straws
+ 21 vacation request forms
+ 7,000 airline miles
+ 16,000 US Dollars
__________________________________________
Me never wanting a wedding
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